LOVE over Perfection

Sometimes the hardest part about being a mom is the other moms...

Sometimes it's my own mom.

Sometimes it's my MIL.

Sometimes it's the comparisons.... Sometimes it's me.

Sometimes it's the quest for perfection- -whatever that is.

Yesterday my mom visited. The first two days were fine. Then, the third day, she was rearranging my house, criticizing the drawer space, the kids' rooms, my lack of a cracker-crumb-free car...

Everything was under the breath words.. She started to remind me a lot of my MIL. I've never noticed it before. My dad said they had much in common, but I never noticed that before. I guess because well, she's my mom.

Dad and mom, divorced since I was four, seem to have only harsh sarcastic words for one another.. I take it with stride and a sense of humor..

These last two days were filled with passive aggressive conversations. She said, "I know you are late.. it doesn't bother me you are 15 minutes late but... if it were you..." I start to drive a 50 in a 30 and then stop and think it's not worth it. I can bend over backwards and still, can't make her happy.

The story of my life and the beginning of NEW habits. I took a deep breath and turned up the radio. Let her wait. It's her character that needs to change not mine. I explained to her sweetly we had plenty of time. Any other mom with three youngsters would have totally understood being 15 minutes off "schedule." Fifteen minutes is a given.

But growing up if I was 5 minutes late, it was a verbal beating for sure. It was TERRIBLE.

The whole day was a tug of war. I said let's do the running around in town then go back home to wash your clothes so we don't have to make a 15 mile commute more than once today. She doesn't listen.. "Well, when it's not your way, it's a 30 min commute, but when you are late it's only 20 minutes.."

I shrug and let another one go. She has no idea how unkind she is.  She has no idea my son missed his nap Tuesday so I could spend the day driving 150 miles around town to entertain. We don't have days like this. We are home most of the day. We do one activity at most on a given day. It's all about balance.

Meanwhile all day she calls her husband's co-worker all day to check on the arrival of their baby.. all day long.. leaving messages for someone she's beaten up for years verbally behind his back.. like she wants to be important..like she's HIS family..but I've never heard her say a kind work about the guy..She changes her voice all sweet and it bothers me. A lot.

I love her.. she's been very good to me..she paid for my surgery last June. It changed my life. She changes my life, but it does't seem to last.. the goodness changes with her moods.. and it's hard to always embrace all of her.. all of the time..

It's complicated. So I walk a tightrope. Her emotions turn and move. I ask again why she didn't sleep, she says, "Because I ate that weird meal" She growls. I respond back with kindness, "No, I meant was it anything else?"

She repeats things over and over. I nod again. She makes conversations with strangers to tell them how much money she has, to tell them about their business and their search for a home and about private schools as if she's high society. We wait outside on the patio at the coffee shop while she makes new friends with strangers.

She gets embarrassed when the valet sees the inside of my car and tells him, "it's a mess." I get angry and yell out cheerfully "I am a pig!" I am angry, but hiding it well.  I vacuumed the car out two weeks ago... it's not enough.. but I MOVED 5 days ago.. Give me a break woman!

While cleaning up the room in my sons' room. I unpack the drawers.

She said, "this is a mess!"

I said, "Yes, but I don't want to clean it now. I want to spend time with my sister! I want to take that time.. now.. and not miss it.."  The goal three days ago was to JUST get things into drawers and off of the floor...

She says (your sister), "She doesn't need that. She's fine."

I say, "But I need the time with her. I miss her." And, I keep cleaning..

Tug of War.

Then I went to check on the tree cutter people outside.. she said, under her breath as I leave, "I am SURE that's more important" than cleaning up this room..

And, I feel like, yes, if I am cutting them a check for a grand to cut 8 trees down, yes, I should take a step or two outside to check on the progress or lack thereof.

And no, my house is not always perfect. Yes, I keep dishes in the sink a night or two once or twice a month. If it's a choice between losing my mind, I'll choose sanity. 

You see, with three kids, ages 2, 4 and 6, there's a lot of juggling to do. You don't remember that if you don't have young kids.

She has a 13 year old and it's so easy to remember how easy it was.. right?

That's the hard part. I feel strongly that encouragement with moms is HUGE. There's no ONE way to do this job. I know my kids. I know them.  It's even harder when it's your own mom or MIL cutting you down.

And, no I am not perfect. It's a progression. And, one day it works one day and the other, it works another way. This mom job is ever-changing-- so BACK OFF already!

But, it's hard when other moms, my mom or a MIL sees only THEIR way as the right way. Those cutting words still linger in the air here like puffs of smoke..."Filth!"

We don't live in filth. We don't. And, I REFUSE to put myself down because I don't meet her standards. I just won't.  I want to tell her, "You have WAY more time than I have right now. You step in my shoes for a WEEK and see what really works and what doesn't. If you are not willing to do that, then back away."

I found I kept my home perfect while I was showing it for 6 months and I yelled like a crazy woman almost every single day. I can have a clean house, but I always regretted treating my kids that way at the end of the day. I couldn't recognize the monster I had become.

Today, I cleaned the bathroom, swept the floor, did three loads of laundry, made lunches, cleaned kitchen, bathed a two year old, checked email, sent out 8 grade reports, responded to work emails, prepared Halloween clothing and plans, took out the trash and showered all by 11 a.m. That's actually a lot for me. But, I made time to snuggle on the couch with my 4 year old too.

I won't always have that time to snuggle.. nor will he want to snuggle with me..

So, I say as moms, we can agree to disagree. No one is perfect. But we all love our children. Love is what sticks. So, less criticism please.

I want to tell my mom to back off, but I nod and let her ramble on about everything she's sure she knows best about. I figure she will be gone in a day. Keep the peace. But, if and when she moves here, things will HAVE to change..

She calls two and three times in one morning. She gets angry when I don't call her RIGHT back, but I sweetly (with clenched teeth) tell her I was bathing my son, I needed a minute..and she stops her frustration. She didn't have control and it bothered her.

She HAS to have control.

The expectations she has for me are way too high most days. And, I've stopped putting on aires and the illusions of cleaning for three days before she comes just so she won't verbally go at it with undercuts of passive aggression. She can think what she wants. That is a major step for me. It's a great step. That, and not driving 50 to appease her time constraints.

Reality, she couldn't do what I do. She couldn't work 10-14 hours a week from home, take care of three kids and balance it all. I get angry when she only sees her side of things.

But, it keeps me humble too. I set it down. I know there are things I can do to improve. I'll take the steps but in my OWN way and in my OWN time. The days, the undercutting words. Like when you watch an Imax film and you get dizzy they say "close your eyes and the moment will pass.."

So, I close my eyes, focus on the good and know the moment will pass.. Yes, I can be BETTER, but YES there are some WONDERFUL things I am doing right.

So, I embrace THAT moment and THAT feeling: I am a great mom. I LOVE My kids and the house is JUST fine :)

Perfection comes later. My kids are babies now. I think I'll embrace THEM over the house.

"Even the trees are different here.."

The house is in need of lots of TLC when it comes to trees and clearing. It's like it needs a facelift or two or three. So it's become my job to find the best candidate for the job. So, far I've interviewed a pirate-look-alike, an arbor enthusiast and a surfer-black and white song Michael Jackson video surfer dude at the end of the music video look-alike.

The surfer tree cutter estimate guy walks up and starts talk to me about the trees today.

He says “See, you need to cut this one back because the Oak tree behind it can’t grow.

"The tree coming through was taking out it’s life. It was sucking it dry. It was keeping the branches from reaching up and toward the other side."

All I could think about was relationships. Like my MIL and people in my life that have been toxic- -that have been in my life and kept me from growing toward the light- -my light- -or the best and brightest place for me.

Or, perhaps, sometimes it was me keeping myself from growing toward the light. Focused on the darkness or the bad over the good.

I think about putdowns or LIES rather I’ve believed all this time about myself. Now, at 34, I still have to brush these under the rug.

I remember when my OBGYN walked out in a huff one day after a routine exam. He said, “You’ve gotta start believing you are a smart beautiful woman!” 

The words stuck in my head. And with all these NEW people coming by in my life- -even tree people, skylight fixer and septic tank worker, I am meeting people of all walks of life.  It’s like being a freshman again in high school. I’m walking into the lunchroom for the first time and I don’t know where to sit.

And, they can tell I’m green. It stumps my self-confidence a little. It’s easy to rule a roost when you’ve been there for years, but to come in and to take charge, well, that’s more about acting. I guess they say act it until you can believe it.

So, I play taking charge of the land. Yes, take those pine trees down. I own it. The other tree hippie says “You can’t! Save the precious tree!”

Yet, he and I could have talked for hours. He reminded me of my dad and my kids’ former pediatrician rolled up in one person. I think we actually talked for two hours and it felt like half an hour.  He got my vision for the property. I told him he both inspired and annoyed me. He showed me everything that COULD be about the property. He also reminded me of my mom. She has a green thumb and an artist’s touch. My husband didn’t like his price and said to get more estimates, ironically, I was inspired, but I had to keep looking. Maybe I can use him as our landscape guru. But, what a moment to connect with another artist.

But, today I talked to surfer dude. Blue eyes and a new college graduation grin. A degree in forestry from Aggieland he bragged with a firm handshake. I had to shake away the giggles. He gave us the lowest estimate and the fairest price. Only $1800 to clear out the land of the shrubs and five or so trees that were overgrown. We keep the Oaks, clear out the Pine and Cedar trees.

Worried it will look naked or disturbed. Hurt that I have to hug the trees and say I am sorry to them.  But, the inspector said it’s the best thing for the property. So, I sigh and make the decision and sign the consent form….

Still, I am trying to inhale the spirit of the land. And, it’s teaching me. And, I feel like I should ask permission first.

I type next to the only sound out here—a howling old freezer. It moans all day reminding my why it was free.

So, with the newness of new relationships, new friendships, new expertise, I embrace the day, learn from the yesterday, prune out the bad, hold on to the new. Watch the changes in landscape- -and appreciate the changes in me. Holding on and believing. It really is a sifting of my life and a huge moment of pruning.

Even when I get the boxes from the move, I toss things that were former treasures.

It’s weird how nature speaks to us. 

I was blessed to interview a young girl in my early reporting days from Russia that was brought here with the help of missionaries about five years ago. They were going to save her arm with medical sponsors. She said of her first impression of America and her heart, “Even the trees are different here.” The American team saved her arm and changed her life forever.

Yes, even the trees are different here two hours from home. I can only imagine how she must have felt continents away from home at age 14. Still, at 34, having never lived away from home before, I still feel almost that tender. 

And, I hear the hippie arbor guy say, "Pine trees are considered gold because they just don’t exist out here" and we are choosing to make room for something new.  He frowns. 

Everything is not always so clear.

It’s like the gold inside me is buried treasure too. I am finding too as I stand out here, without distraction. Everything speaks to me. The roots, the trees, the birds that made their home in the shrubs.

They chirp with nothing to claim their own and yet they are happy—happy enough to sing a song. Life can be so simple.

I stand out here, trying to claim land that isn’t exactly mine yet.

Perhaps I am waiting for it to embrace me too.

Brave New World

This was written in Oct 2012.

As I meet more and more new people out here, I keep thinking about an opening to a Stephen King novel.. you know the ones where everything SEEMS all right in the beginning?

I meet more people that come to me and tell me, "You're gonna LOVE it here! Everyone loves it here!"

Everyone is so nice and kind, but I have my guard up. I am waiting to see when reality hits.

I'm weary of new neighbors and besides talking about colleges, degrees, interests and children or where the local grocery store is (there isn't one closer than 25 minutes), I've kept it surface.

I remember the all too well that if you say or do the wrong thing, well, the neighbor is STILL there, so watch your steps.

Also, I am weary of learning about the personality types and about who I can trust. A new friend reminded me that the first person you meet may not really be the BEST person to trust either. And, the person that knows everyone, well, usually KNOWS everyone and talks a lot too.

I feel them making judgments. I realize quickly they don't get my dry sarcasm so I have to explain things like what it means when my husband is "home" now. The girl says, "He works from home?" "No, I say, he's not working til 9 pm. as a principal and pursuing his doctoral degree. He's home at 5 now. It's great!"

I have polite talk with an engineer kindof lady from Aggie land. I try to watch my children at the park and still give her the center of my attention. It's hard work to watch my words, be very polite and watch my kids and try to take in my surroundings.

I think maybe I'll meet my new best friend here and now. I should really try to take it all in. This is a great new start..maybe...

When I first walked up, the lady I met through her husband the other day welcomes me as if she was waiting for me for hours.. And, I meet everyone else she knows.  Suddenly, five people know my name and I stumble to remember just two names. They were all expecting me. I explain I got there about 12 hours ago and been waiting for the cable guy from 1-4. They don't laugh but smile. Looking back, maybe they would have GOT it if I had explained that we literally moved in at noon this very same day and it's 3 pm. here.

Of course, they could have taken that wrong too. See, I am second-guessing everything. I had some tough weird mean people in my other neighborhood so I'm scared. And, I could say the wrong thing and they'd just turn me away or gossip would get going. My friend Carrie, a man in his late 60s who taught tech theatre at the high school I taught with would tell me, "Stay out of the teacher's lounge. If they don't know you, they can't talk about you."

He passed away two years ago in Dec. I still miss him.

And, so this meet up feels like the teacher's lounge. It APPEARS sweet and "safe", but I look for sharks and worry about bored busy bodies that might take something sarcastic I say and RUN with it.. I know, I am being paranoid. I'm just scared.

Scared of caring too much too. I am also hurt.  I miss my friends. One, it just hurt so much once I got sortof settled on Saturday and I just broke down and called her. She never-well, maybe twice in the seven years I've known her, answered the phone on a weekend..but I called.

I told her how much I missed her..no really missed her SO much. So much. Well, it's Monday and haven't even gotten an email. I think I got a FB comment or something. It's been since June 22 or so since I've seen her. And it's been ages since her and I have gotten together and it feels like YEARS since we'd spend one night a week together watching TV like we used to. I miss that SO much. It had become part of me that made me feel complete. I had a constant friend. And, then life changed and it went away.

Perhaps, that's another blog..you see she has family nearby. .and doesn't need me as much as I needed her. WE got through the miscarriages together. It was our time. We had our babies together. She took care of me by watching my oldest when I had my second. She brought me Chick Fil-A when I was sick, we went to movies, we were close for a time. It's silly I can't let go.

I should be stronger than this, right? I've suffered through far more..so why does this feel like I'm attending my own funeral and no one has showed up?

But, the truth is, my friends are my family so maybe that's why it's hard to let go. Not having family near and well, never really depending on my family- -I depend on my friends for spiritual comfort, emotional encouragement and just to be there..

Maybe I have it backwards and Maybe that's why it's harder for ME and not my friends. They HAVE people. They have family apart from their friends..

But everyone is SO far away.. everyone that I could be REAL with. Everyone that KNOWS what the past five years have been like with hubby working nonstop and conflicts that have been sooo hard. This really is a new start.

But, I miss my friends that got me through that time. Part of me blames myself. Maybe they don't call and check on me because they think I am high-maintenance. Or maybe they are tired of me. Or maybe I was as one friend said I was "too much." Maybe I am "too much" thus the surface conversations I've started and trying not to depend on people besides grocery store talks. Now, I See it as I read this. .. I maybe was too much.. I can work on that.. And I AM working on that.

I am not sure.

But, one friend and I have talked over the phone for 30 min and that was wonderful. It was two weeks ago. She never feels too far somehow. One I text throughout the day. The other was a neighbor and she's moved. I still would love to talk to her every day too, but I know time changes and one must let go a little. Darn my bond for life characteristics.

I have three friends in this new place.. One I'd call a relative- -she knew my grandma. She is basically family. I've seen her three times since we came here. She's now um, well an hour a way. The other, my journalism friend lives over that way too. And, another is in a mom's group and she's nearer. In fact, when she moves she will be 5 min away. See, I have leads..

I have a friend Bonnie and she texts me to check on me. So, I guess I am not completely alone.  And, then there's Nicole and leslie and Stacia. I really miss them too. Nicole is running marathons and busy at her church and she's an old friend from college. Haven't seen her in a year. But, in my heart, she still feels close. Leslie and Stacia lived far and I didn't see them as much, but I still miss them too.

So, I am okay. Just watching the sun come up. All I hear is the humming fridge I've inherited, the keys on the keyboard and a darn cricket that won't SHUT up.

It's not bad. It's a growing time. Just hurts to be lonely. To feel like I have to calculate everything I say because no one here even knows my favorite color. I want to hide. I don't even want to see the landscape guy or the skylight guy today.

I'm terrified that I have to pack up kids in the pitch dark driveway tomorrow to take M to school.

I have to be here alone tonight since hubby is out of town. Ironically, in Houston.

I literally feel like an electric wire that has been tossed into a bath of water. All of my circuits are wigging out. I'm in shock. I want to hide to some place of safety. But, there's no place to run.

I have to try all this new stuff. Without a break. A new dentist. I HATE the dentist. New doctors. New people. It's a brave new world- -but I'm not feeling so brave.

How to sell a house- -blunt ways to save your sanity

Over the past two years I knew we were moving. I knew my husband was changing jobs eventually and, I just had a gut feeling a major change was coming.

We put the house on the market the first year, seven viewings in 11 months. Two realtors. One wasn't at all like her bubbly video or picture when I met her. She turned sarcastic when I wouldn't lower my price after the first sixty days.  The other realtor was nice, but clearly a retired worker that did this to pay for yearly cruises. With her, we got one showing all summer. The showing cancelled. And, two miraculously when we were about to run out of time on her contract.

Then, in April of the next year, I got the bug to try again. So, we staged the house, did all of the pictures and started again. This time, I went with the town realtor. His pictures reminded me of Beetleguise movie trailer clips, but everyone knew him and so I thought I'd give him a try. In four months, this time we had 25 showings.

He was a nice guy, but soon, I learned he only was the face of the company, he worked mostly part time because of his famousness (he came in Prada glasses) and his crew did most of the grunt work. After two weeks he was suddenly not returning emails but referring me. Even, as I was eager to learn every step of the way.

I was a plyable, eager student. But, I soon learned my place. Selling a home in the 145k range, doesn't get you a great-range of service...I know I was over eager.. I kept hearing, "Well in your price range.. or THOSE houses..etc etc." We were selling a four bed, two and half bath, 2300 home out side of a major city.  It wasn't a $3-500,000 deal. Realtors don't do backbends for 8 grand. And, in the end, I ended up paying 6K to close after living in the home for 9 years. I paid their closing costs and came away with nothing but an escrow check thirty days later.

I also asked everyone what they were doing to sell their homes. Most didn't answer bluntly. Most, lied. Or, most just changed the subject. I dug and dug. I heard all sorts of excuses and "reasons" for homes not selling. But, I never got the "real" story until I was in the trenches myself.

Friday, after six months and two years of on the market "fun" our house finally closes. As I look back, I can remember each room. The nursery. The tree in the back yard. The kitchen. The living room and all the work we did. All of the memories. And, I feel a little of something, but most of what I felt was lost through the process of selling. I only cried when I painted the baby blue walls neutral and when I had to kiss our beloved tree out back goodbye.

I also had to have a circle of friends and family nearby to call. I had my share of rantings, tears, angry fits, prayers crying out in agony will this ever end type days.. It was a LONG stretch.

It was as I refer to it as a "slow divorce," but maybe my tips will help someone else. Here it is: tips to save your sanity..when you try to sell a home in 2012. Blunt, but real.

Blunt tips for selling your house

1.     Pick a realtor everyone knows. These people know everyone and they can get more of their buddies to see your house.  It's like picking the prom king. Pick the popular guy or gal. Don’t pick someone with a nice picture in a small company. Pick the town realtor big wig. He or she will have a crew of people dependent on selling the house. And no matter who you choose, they are bound to turn a little annoying after the first week or two. When you first meet them they become your instant buddy (aka eager to get your signature for any dance) then, things change. Quickly.  It’s a business. It’s smoke and mirrors. And, at the end of the day, the price sells the house. That and prayer and patience.

2.     Or, pick a realtor that’s somewhat new with a small office and no staff and that realtor will still be green enough to care and the job will get done. That's how we bought our new home.

3.     Prepare to lose about 16 grand. In this market, think about what you’d LIKE to sell for and mark it down 10 grand, then wait. Budget to mark it down another 5 grand WITH repairs. Be prepared for the buyers to ask for the world. Be prepared to be angry. We tried to sell for 154. The house sold for $147, with us paying closing costs and 500 in repairs and two months of delay with closing dates.

4.     Prepare in that budget to give closing costs too. Now people have to have a down payment and another 5 grand for closing and they can’t get loans so it truly is a buyer’s market. But you will make it up when you buy.

5.     Your pictures online are a pretty big deal. Work hard at making those count.

6.     And, sadly take down all of your family pictures.  Mine sold the DAY AFTER I did this. Even one picture in the hallway, take it down. I know, it’s YOUR house, no, for three to six months, it’s a museum that you must try to pretend you don’t actually live in.

7.     Don’t get emotional. It’s a house. It’s a slow divorce. Be prepared to feel and go a little crazy with this constant cleaning thing. Especially if you have kids and pets. Also, be prepared for the dodge ball experience. The phone rings for a showing. The house is a mess. You’ve got ten minutes to clean and get out of the house. And, after all of that, they may not even show up. Or, they may give you feedback that will blow your mind (i.e. the walls are too short).

8.     When they come to see the house, if you want, stick a card in the front door jam so you know they came. Leave and don’t watch the house. You will drive yourself crazy. And, most of the time you may have no idea if they actually came. It’s a thankless torture.

9.     Clean, leave and try not to think about it. But you will agonize over every detail, every comparable house in the neighborhood, etc.

10. Don’t make too much of the online feedback. Half of the time they are not correct feedback postings. Most of the agents are lazy. Don’t expect much feedback.

11.  Don’t hang around when they inspect your house. It’s awkward. And take a deep breath before you read the inspection report. It will feel like someone is criticizing your first-born child’s baby photos.

12.  Be prepared to haggle. Be prepared for pitfalls, for things to change instantly and to have to start all over. I remember sitting there watching the people come in and out of the house on the edge of my car seat biting my nails. Kids and dog in car, we had cleaned for two hours and circled the house for two hours so that it could have a five minute showing. It was brutal.

13. Keep your head high. Keep looking for your new house. This will keep your spirits up. Remember, it will be over, eventually.  And, you will walk away a little angry, but your new house will be better and you, like those who bought your house, can ask for the world and expect it in this market.  And, you never know what tomorrow will bring. Like, my friend Natalie kept telling me, "It's going to sell. It's going to sell," this chant kept my spirits high.  Keeping this in mind kept the Eeyore in me from taking over.

Good-bye dorm experience

Walking thru the halls of the YMCA, backpack on my pack, shower shoes in tow, I feel like I’m at the UH dorm again. It's a mini vacation..of sorts...

It’s been my escape for three months now. Drop off kids and run to the cycles and silenced TVs.

I’d escape to the walking trails and call a friend or just watch the trees for a while.

Today I spend time hiding in a corner grading feverously. I had 4 hours of work to get done in 2 hours.  In fact, when someone said hello, I jumped. Free wi-fi and chaos.

People pushing from behind my chair to reach for coffee. Employees complaining about the broken snack machine. They gab loudly behind me. I can tell the other worker doesn't really want to talk.

Flashing around me were noises of all kinds. A boy bounced a basketball like a drum, a baby SCREAMED, a child blared a Mario video game on the Iphone.  It was a circus around me. It was my “study lounge” for a time. It almost drove me crazy.  I had the focus of a ninja.

I remember showering there a couple of times. Balancing on my flip flops and changing in small corner. Watched the water drain like the Nile winding around the room. Nothing like community showers. 

I pretend I get to get away from it all. I dress. Wring out my hair and blow dry. I pretend I have a great place to go- -not picking up the kids and heading home. I pretend the night is about endless surprises and nothing is on a schedule.

For a moment, I walk around the winding halls in peace. Take a breath and then, pick up the kids. Adventure out to the car, refreshed.

Today I caught a glimpse of my kids being restless. They were kicking and playing fight. It was boy stuff. I am glad I saw this because I would have been much harder on them if I hadn't seen the tone of their actions at the time.

The larger mean type lady- -the personality type I am learning to spot and STAY away from immediately these days- -at the childcare made sure to tell me when I picked them up with the same smurk she had when she told me I couldn’t place my stroller there a month ago. I said, “I am folding it up and putting it away.” She had pounced on me before I had a chance to explain.

Today she pounced on me again. 

I said, “This is our last Saturday here.”

She smurked and said sheepishly, “Well they are welcome anytime,” as to pull away from her stance. Or, as if to interpret me as fighting back. 

I said, “Yep, they’ve been rowdier. They’ve been pretty good actually. You see we’ve been living in a one bedroom apartment for three months now,"I continued, "Five people. One bedroom. It's been really    tough."

I started to cry. She said, “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

I said, “We had to huddle while we sold our Houston home. We move next week.”

She was then nicer, “My girls get that way at the end of summer after too much time together. They have to get away from each other.”

She then smiled and started to act differently. I am glad for this ending. If only she started out this way, it would have changed my response.

It was another dorm experience scenario- -a close quarter place where neighbors are forced friends.

My first phone call in Austin was at this YMCA. My first break from the kids from these very close quarters was at the YMCA. I still have the three tags from the Houston YMCA. They won't come off my key ring. 

Sentimental at times still too. So much has changed since I came here. This has become my small little city- -in a place where I knew no one.

My first 4 miles on the cycles. My first French 78-yr-old friend was at this YMCA.

I feel like I’ve graduated. I’ll miss this place.